One night in all seriousness he says, "Mom, poopy is brown and I am brown. Do you think that if I fell in the toilet I would get camouflaged and could get flushed down the toilet?"
Trying not to laugh I said, "No honey, I would never let you get flushed down the potty; you would get stuck in the drain just like the tennis ball you threw in the toilet and I would call Mr. A the plumber to get you out." This led to a long discussion about how N wished someone in the family was brown like him. It shocked me that he did not consider Z brown, he felt Z was the same color as my close Italian friend "tan" even though Z is his biological half brother.
I tried to point out African American friends we have, but was told they did not live with us. As a mom wanting to try and make my child feel like he wasn't different and loving him more than words can express, I even tried to point out the fact that Meemaw and Poppy's dog was brown and black but with no luck! This conversation solidified the fact that when I chose to adopt, the little girl would have to be "brown" like N.
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Since my first post, I have gotten lots of positive responses and a few questions so I thought I would try to answer some them in this post and more in another:
Why Haiti?
That left me other countries in Africa and Haiti. A few of the popular countries in Africa do not allow singles to adopt, the Democratic Republic of Congo suddenly shut down adoptions in the middle of the process for people, and a few of the countries have been cited for child selling which is clearly not why I am doing this.
This drew me towards Haiti. I taught a student a few years back that was adopted from Haiti. My second cousin had served there after the earthquake, my students had done a candy bar sale for a Haitian school after the earthquake, and also Haiti is a very impoverished country were children are in need of adoption.
Haiti does have it's own set of issues such as a long wait times between matching visits and the actual adoption, but it also allows you to visit the child during this time (although I was pretty sure I could not afford this, flying from Florida is not very expensive and the hotel chain my cousin works for has just opened a hotel in Port Au Prince which means my mom and Aunt could visit my daughter).
After your match visit, you can often Skype, and you can send letters and gifts too. I liked the fact that the children were placed in Christian Crèches (orphanages) which were much more family like than institutional orphanages. As well, any child that is to be adopted's birth parents must be found and testify that they cannot raise the child or if the parents cannot be found, the mayor of the town must testify that every attempt was made to find the parents and that the child has been abandoned.
Finally, "Haiti’s population was about 9.8 million according to UN 2008 estimates. According to Hope for Haiti, over 50% of Haiti’s population is school age and the literacy rate is less than 50%. Approximately 70% of the people live in poverty, with an average annual income of $400 per year. 15% of all children in Haiti are orphaned or abandoned (“practically orphaned”). Most estimates put the number of orphans in Haiti prior to the January 2010 earthquake at about 380,000. Experts now estimate that the number of orphans has doubled to about 750,000 since the earthquake" (http://haitiorphanproject.org/about/).The orphanages are overflowing with children. Once, they reach the age of an adult they are just put on the street, because there is no room for them. They are left to fend for themselves. As well, over 35% of the children in Haiti are malnourished which can lead to long term physical and mental complications. This is a country in need and I know there is a little girl there that needs us.
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What are you doing to fundraise?
I am doing lots of things. I had a party where my friend donated her almost 700 dollar commission to me. I sold end of the year t-shirts at school and had a garage sale in July.
A few things that I am currently doing are through Party-lite, Beach Body, and Just Love Coffee. My friend is having a Party-lite party and although I cannot attend, she is doing a 50/50 where squares can be bought 1 for 5, 3 for 10, and 6 for 20. Half of the money goes to my fund, and the winner gets their half toward a Party-lite candle purchase whether they live in the Buffalo Area or not. Another lady who adopted from Haiti has offered her commissions on her Beach Body sales to me through my Facebook page. As well, I have a store front at Just Love Coffee Roasters where people can buy coffee and who doesn't need coffee-https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/finnerty/ If you are interested in Party-lite or Beach Body, let me know.
In the near future, I will be selling really cool adoption t-shirts I designed hopefully through an etsy store. As well as, selling infinity chevron scarfs with screen printed words on them that another friend of mine who is adopting from Haiti is making for me to sell.
I will also be having another garage sale with my friends hopefully one in September and definitely one next summer and I welcome donations. (This will likely be a yearly event until my little girl comes home.) If you were going to throw it away or donate it, I would love it.
Another friend has offered to do a raffle where people win gift certificates for for Lia Sophia Jewlery and I sell tickets at 10.00. Hopefully people will want to pick up a cool scarf, T-shirt, try a raffle for high value gift certificates for Lia Sophia or get some Party-lite candles for a Christmas or Birthday presents.
I am hoping to have a "Break the Winter Blues" event with Karaoke, comedy, and a DJ along with a basket raffle in the far future. I also would like to sell some items made in Haiti and possibly do a photo shoot for families, have a 5k run, and do some other ideas I read about in a book about adopting without debt.
The biggest thing I am currently doing is raising money and selling items through One Mission Fundraising. This is both a basic donation site as well as a site that sells gifts for fundraising. So people can choose to shop or just donate.
https://onemissionfundraising.com/fundraisers/finnerty-family-adoption-fund/
Finally, anyone who just wants to make a donation by writing a check, and not have a portion of it go to fees for the One Mission Site, can make one to my agency on my behave. Because they are a non-profit, the donations can be written off on taxes. If you are interested, checks, that have a post it note attached with my name on it or a note accompanying the check with my name, can be made out to and sent to:
EAC Inc.
Attention: Tina Fell
12608 Alameda Drive
Strongsville, OH 44149
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What are you doing personally to raise/save money?
I am couponing, have cut back our cable, am hoping to tutor as much as possible this year, am asking more friends to babysit for free when I need a sitter or offering to babysit for my friends kids to make some extra cash, and am trying to do mostly free things with the kids like the beach, playground, and staying with friends to feel like we have gone on a vacation. I am beginning the process of opening an Etsy shop which will sell the adoption T-shirts as well as adoption themed items, and a few other things I can create such as infinity scarfs, wreaths, and paintings.
The one thing I am trying not to do is make the boys feel like they are living a very different life, but I am still trying to keep them excited about making good purchasing choices to help adopt their sister.
I have sold items on Craig's list, sold the boys' old clothes and my own to consignment stores, and am trying to get anything new we need at the used stores. Also, my agency offers a financial coach. I am going to be taking her class soon and learning some other ideas. I hope to apply for grants although those can be limited, but my agency is doing everything possible to help me qualify for them.
I am also hoping to sell electric and gas through a wholesale company. This not only saves people money, but makes me money. Since NYS deregulated utilities, companies can offer to sell you gas/electricity at a reduced cost. You still receive your bill through NYSEG, NiMo, National Fuel. . . and they service your lines, but the actual gas/electricity is wholesale. You do not have to be just in NYS, so if you think you might be interested, drop me a line. The great thing is I make a few bucks, and they guarantee you save at least 2% a year over what you would be paying, but many people are seeing up to 5-6% savings. If you figure 200.00 a month for both gas and electric combined which is low, that is 2400.00 a year a person pays and even at 2% savings that's 48.00 at 6% you could be saving up to 150.00, and helping me to adopt.
Finally I am hoping that if the adoption tax credit stays in place for the year I finally get to adopt, I will be able to take out a low interest loan to pay off the adoption and then repay the loan with my tax rebate.
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I will leave you with a few words that could apply to any Christian but are written for Catholics and have inspired me on this journey and I continue to ask you to pray for my family. (Please feel free to share my blog with others via Facebook or email if you think it would be inspiring or of interest to them.)
Godone-Maresca said, adding that "adoption is a ministry in which every Catholic should participate, whether by adopting, by helping others adopt, by praying and by making the plight of those kids known.”
“As Catholics, we cannot remain unmoved by the plight of thousands and even millions of children dying from preventable and even curable diseases in many places of the world,” Godone-Maresca said. “We cannot remain unmoved by the plight of children feeling unwanted and asking for a family of their own. We cannot remain unmoved by the knowledge that if not adopted by a certain age, in many --- countries, orphan children with any kind of special needs are thrown into mental institutions, where life is no more than a slow death.”
(Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/unicef-blamed-for-decline-in-international-adoptions?fb_action_ids=10202239507001405&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%5B469882676421405%5D&action_type_map=%5B%22og.likes%22%5D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D#ixzz32DaiITUz)
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