Rough Roads ahead, did you say banana and my failed career as a used car salesman?

Well with the beginning of school, life has been crazy.  Z has shown some real improvement with his behavior with his new teacher which makes me, like every mom, feel good.  I think we all fear those tantrums or difficulties may be the sign we have the next baseball game streaking crazy person on our hands, but it looks like we are taking a turn for the better.

N is doing well in his PreK and I am working on trying to help him survive his ADHD.  Some days are better than others or at least more entertaining.  Overcoming a pair of mismatched socks, accidental tooth paste ringing the bottom of the toilet or asking the lector at church if he said bananas, is easier to handle than calling 911 from your friend's house on the one night mom gets out in a week.  

He is super excited about the French exchange students we have for two weeks and loves to focus on the "way they speak English wrong" thank goodness they are understanding, He was excited that one of the boys is brown like him, but he told me he wanted him to be his sister.  I am glad he is still excited about her arrival.  

We celebrated our two year anniversary of the boys adoption this month with Oreos because mommy has a twisted sense of humor.  Although the Haitian process is only about 6 months for us so far, it already seems discouraging.  My hopes had been with a completed homestudy from the county to go off of, the Haitian homestudy would have been completed in a month, but I am not so lucky.  Almost two months later, I just received a call that the social worker is coming out to ask a few more questions while she waits for more forms/paper work to arrive.  I was prepared for the process to take a longtime in Haiti, but not in America. Guess God is giving me a peek at what is to come.  

I have completed a few fundraisers and taken on a few more since this is the only thing I can put my frustrated energy into at this point.  I broke even with the t-shirt sales but have a bunch left over that as I sell will be profit.  I had an overwhelming response to Ambit during my first 30 days and was able to sign up 14 customers, since then it has been lagging.  I am hoping as people start to see their heating bills coming in and look at how much that 2-3% guaranteed savings on their supply charges will be, more will be interested in signing up with Ambit.  I was sure I could get 15 customers of both gas and electric to get free supply for myself and use the money to put towards my adoption.  It seemed like a win-win for everyone to me, but I didn't think about the fact that people can be nervous about change, especially change that seems too good to be true.  I am hoping to hit that magic 15 to start putting the savings towards my adoption in the next few months.

I am currently involved in a scarf sale and have taken on a second job doing direct sales.  The scarves have gone over well.  They are made by a lady in Iowa who is also saving for her adoption from Haiti.  We spilt the ten dollar profit: five dollars goes to her fund and five dollars to mine.  I figure every little bit helps.  I read somewhere that if you gave birth and your child could not leave the hospital unless you paid your bill in cash, you'd find a way.  I try to think of this when my fundraisers do not pan out as well as I thought they might.  I am clearly not meant to be a used car salesman as I struggle to sell things and have even had a hard time getting people to book parties for my direct sales business, but I am trying my best to "get my baby out of the hospital debtors prison."  

I hope that as I bug people to participate in these events, they feel free to say no if they are not interested or cannot afford to help.  Taking ten seconds to consider whether they could buy something as a gift, trust me to save on their energy, or throw a party means a lot to me and will mean the world to my daughter someday. 

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If you wish to help with the exorbitant cost of adoption, please consider signing up, shopping, or donating.  

SIGNING UP

I currently am signing up people for Ambit Energy, a Better Business Bureau A+ company as well as a recipient of the JD Power and Associates Award for customer satisfaction, which guarantees savings of 2% a year or 3% for my PA friends.  Although the rate is variable, they cannot do sudden huge hikes in the cost because they guarantee you the percentage savings for your state and will send you a check for the difference if it costs more.  Their hikes would have to be aligned with your current provider.  Most people in my area are saving between 5-6% which averages about 125.00 to 150.00 a year.  I get a kick back for signing people up which I can put in my adoption fund, and if as a consultant I get 15 people to a sign up by September 20th, I get the supply portion of my gas and electric bill free for the year which I can also put into my adoption fund.  There are no fees, contracts, or any catches.  It is a win-win for both of us.  Your gas and electric service company does not change either.  You still call NYSEG or National Grid or your PA company for help, and they still send your bills.  Message me if you are interested as lots of my friends have already been saving through other consultants and I want to hit 15 by September 20th.  

Here is the savings of my friend's dad over an 11 month period.

Here is my website for more information if interested, but please contact me too: 

http://finnertyadoptionfund.myambit.com/rates-and-plans

SHOPPING

I have a store front at Just Love Coffee Roasters where people can buy coffee.

https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/finnerty/

I am also selling adoption themed t -shirts I designed myself for 20.00.  I shirts still available with the tree, Captain America logo, and words.  

 and selling chevron scarves with words screen printed on them for 20 dollars which I earn 5.00 on that I will be taking orders on through October 31st. Message, call, or text me if you are interested in either.  

DONATING OR SHOPPING

I am currently raising money and selling items through One Mission Fundraising.  This is both a crowns funding donation site as well as a site that sells gifts for fundraising.  So people can choose to shop or just donate.  

https://onemissionfundraising.com/fundraisers/finnerty-family-adoption-fund/

DONATING

Anyone who just wants to make a donation by writing a check, and not have a portion of it go to fees for the One Mission Site, can make one to my agency on my behalf.  Because they are a non-profit, the donations can be written off on your taxes.  If you are interested, checks, that have a post it note attached with my name on it or a note accompanying the check with my name, can be made out to and sent to:

EAC Inc.

Attention Tina Fell 

12608 Alameda Drive

Strongsville, OH 44149

Thank you for any help you can give!!!

Irish Dance school drop out?

I find N and Z have begun to process the fact that they are getting a sister someday.  N seems to bring it up the most and ask about how long it will take and what she will be like.  He understands it will take a long time, but lovingly the other day said he thought maybe he didn't need to go to 7-11 for a reward so we could save the money for his sister.  He can be so sweet sometimes.  

Not much is happening with the Homestudy at this point, but lots has been happening in Haiti and with fundraising.  

The news coming out of Haiti this month has been wonderful.  Many families that already had been matched under the old laws prior to The Hague agreement being adopted in Haiti have been stuck, some for up to five years.  This month the IBSER, the Haitian version of our adoption workers in DSS, took the month off to close out the old cases.  Everyday, on the Adopting from Haiti website I am a part of, dreams are coming true!  Families are bring home their children and most importantly children are getting the loving family they have always dreamed of having.  

This video may put the children's feelings in perspective.  It was made based on an actual event that a worker witnessed at an orphanage in India.  I have seen it once before on Facebook referencing an orphanage in Iraq, but researched and it seems to be India.   

http://www.lifebuzz.com/child-draws/

In our home, school has started and life has been crazy.  This week alone I was out every night but Friday.  Most with the boys, but some not.  N unsuccessfully began Irish Dance.  He was so excited that he could hardly control himself walking into the Irish Center; he was like the energizer Bunny on No-Doz.  He only lasted 15 minutes before the dance teacher brought him down and asked us to try again next week.  I felt awful when the giant tears ran down his face because he wanted to go back and couldn't. Hopefully, he has learned his lesson and with mommy taking him to the playground right before dance, he will do better next week.  

I have been working very hard at trying to get people to sign up for Ambit Energy.  I have been with them for awhile as a customer, but only recently decide to get 15 customers and hopefully a few consultants to earn money for my adoption.  If I get 15 people to sign up for both gas and electric, I get the average of their supply charges free for a year.  I can therefore write a check every month to the adoption agency for that amount that I usually pay for gas and electric.  As well, I get a kick back for every customer/consultant I sign up.  The more consultants I sign up who think they want to get free gas and electric, the more kick backs I get and the more I move up the ladder with Ambit therefore earning me greater rewards to put towards my adoption.  With Ambit's guarantee to save customers at least 2-3% off their current providers electric and/or gas of the year, it is a great opportunity for people to help without spending a cent and actually saving money.  I currently have 8 electric customers and 6 gas customers towards my 15 that I am trying to get by the 20th.  

As well, I am selling t-shirts through the 15th I designed to celebrate adoption.  After that, I will be selling them on etsy.  It has been wonderful to see people share the t-shirts from my Facebook page to people they think might be interested.  I even have had one order from England.  

I had my first crazy couponing trip this week.  I learned a lot about saving money through coupons the last couple of weeks.  Like did you know you can buy coupons on eBay?  Seems counter productive to buy coupons, but not really.  You buy your newspaper to get coupons, and you get lots in there you probably won't even use, but with eBay you can buy the ones you actually want and a bunch at a time.  I spent 2.68 on 35 gogo squeeze coupons: my boys eat those like they are going out of style.  They were also on sale this week at Target, so each box only cost me 1.00 compared to the 2.50 I usually would spend.  I did learn however that with some coupons the register will stop and only let you use 4 of them, so embarrassingly had to break my order up.  

I also learned that there are some great sites that you can follow to help you find out where the good deals are.  I was actually able to get some free candy for the kids at school; I often play review games and give away candy.  

I learned some stores price match, but unfortunatley Wegmans is not one of those.  Although Wegmans is my favorite,  when things are on sale, I am finding they are better deal sat Tops where I also earn gas points to save on gas.  I also learned couponing requires concentration and paying close attention to the cash register all things that I cannot easily do with the boys around.  So unless we go to Wkids, I guess I will have to squeeze my couponing in between the end of school and the closing of daycare.  

Some days I get discouraged about the process of fundraising and all the documents I am trying to get together to send to Haiti, but I know it will be worth it in the end.  I find myself giving it to God and taking it back and giving it to him again and again.  I hope he gets a kick out of this because I can't seem to not worry at times.  

----------

If you wish to help with the exorbitant cost of adoption, please consider signing up, shopping, or donating.  

SIGNING UP

Here is my website for more information if interested in signing up for Ambit, but please contact me too: 

http://finnertyadoptionfund.myambit.com/rates-and-plans

SHOPPING

I have a store front at Just Love Coffee Roasters where people can buy coffee.

https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/finnerty/ 

I am also selling adoption themed t -shirts for 20.00 and selling chevron scarves with words screen printed on them for 20 dollars which I earn 5.00 on that I will be taking orders on through October 30th.  Message, call, or text me if you are interested in either.  

DONATING OR SHOPPING

I am currently raising money and selling items through One Mission Fundraising.  This is both a basic donation site as well as a site that sells gifts for fundraising.  So people can choose to shop or just donate.  

https://onemissionfundraising.com/fundraisers/finnerty-family-adoption-fund/

DONATING

Anyone who just wants to make a donation by writing a check, and not have a portion of it go to fees for the One Mission Site, can make one to my agency on my behalf.  Because they are a non-profit, the donations can be written off on your taxes.  If you are interested, checks, that have a post it note attached with my name on it or a note accompanying the check with my name, can be made out to and sent to:

EAC Inc.

Attention Tina Fell 

12608 Alameda Drive

Strongsville, OH 44149

Thank you for any help you can give!!!

Wished Home Studies only cost a nickel, I'd sacrifice mine

Well it could have been worse. . . N put on a real show for the social worker when she came to begin our home study.  At first he was totally into her, talking with her, and drawing pictures, but then things changed!  First, he randomly bit his brother, leaving a nice mark.  I placed him in time out, and he did okay.  

However, he later hit his brother for taking his crayon, and we had a battle of wills to stay in time out.  We looked like one of those videos of the failing parents on "Super Nanny."  Back and forth we went me: putting him back in time out, moving the bench closer to the oven timer to reset it, him slamming the bench down on my big toe, and finally, him calming down long enough to serve his time out.  

Following time out, he went to the bathroom only to come out with his pants down.  N informed the social worker of the proper names of his boy parts and loudly told her mommy has nickles (as he incorrectly calls them) as I carreled him back to the bathroom to pull up his pants.  Thank goodness the social worker understood my logic in teaching my children the real names for their body parts.

As she left, I apologized for the chaos.  She told me sometimes she hates how too perfect home study visits can be; they seem fake.  She said the good side was that she could easily explain the discipline techniques I used and that I had experience with children who could be difficult at times.  I guess there is an upside to everything.  

As I was hemming and hawing about my call to adopt again this spring, my friend shared this with me and I thought of it at that moment. 

God is qualifying me for the struggles ahead as I deal with Haiti, fundraising, and eventually expanding my family.  Keep praying! 

--------------

If you wish to help with the exorbitant cost of adoption, please consider signing up, shopping, or donating.  

SIGNING UP

I currently am signing up people for Ambit Energy, a Better Business Bureau A+ company as well as a recipient of the JD Power and Associates Award for customer satisfaction, which guarantees savings of 2% a year or 3% for my PA friends.  Although the rate is variable, they cannot do sudden huge hikes in the cost because they guarantee you the percentage savings for your state and will send you a check for the difference if it costs more.  Their hikes would have to be aligned with your current provider.  Most people in my area are saving between 5-6% which averages about 125.00 to 150.00 a year.  I get a kick back for signing people up which I can put in my adoption fund, and if as a consultant I get 15 people to a sign up by September 20th, I get the supply portion of my gas and electric bill free for the year which I can also put into my adoption fund.  There are no fees, contracts, or any catches.  It is a win-win for both of us.  Your gas and electric service company does not change either.  You still call NYSEG or National Grid or your PA company for help, and they still send your bills.  Message me if you are interested as lots of my friends have already been saving through other consultants and I want to hit 15 by September 20th.  

Here is the savings of my friend's dad over an 11 month period.

Here is my website for more information if interested, but please contact me too: 

http://finnertyadoptionfund.myambit.com/rates-and-plans

SHOPPING

I have a store front at Just Love Coffee Roasters where people can buy coffee.

https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/finnerty/

I am also selling adoption themed t -shirts I designed myself for 20.00 and will be placing orders by September 15th which I earn at least 10.00 on for my fund

 and selling chevron scarves with words screen printed on them for 20 dollars which I earn 5.00 on that I will be taking orders on through October 30th.  Message, call, or text me if you are interested in either.  

DONATING OR SHOPPING

I am currently raising money and selling items through One Mission Fundraising.  This is both a basic donation site as well as a site that sells gifts for fundraising.  So people can choose to shop or just donate.  

https://onemissionfundraising.com/fundraisers/finnerty-family-adoption-fund/

I am also taking donations for a yard sake in the beginning of October, if you had stuff you were going to give away anyway.  More information will be available for shopping as the date gets closer.  

DONATING

Anyone who just wants to make a donation by writing a check, and not have a portion of it go to fees for the One Mission Site, can make one to my agency on my behalf.  Because they are a non-profit, the donations can be written off on your taxes.  If you are interested, checks, that have a post it note attached with my name on it or a note accompanying the check with my name, can be made out to and sent to:

EAC Inc.

Attention Tina Fell 

12608 Alameda Drive

Strongsville, OH 44149

Thank you for any help you can give!!!

Why Adoption; why not?

We recently went on a trip to visit friends and family.  Z was holding my friends 6 month old very lovingly; he clearly loves babies, although we had to let him know a warning is needed before you decide to just stop holding a baby.  Thank goodness her mom is quick.

When we had some quiet time later, I said Z you really love babies.  Do you want your sister from Haiti to be an older sister or baby?  He said older.  This surprised me.  I have been thinking about it a lot because older children are more in need of homes, but at the same point I know I want a child not a teenager.  There are some adoption professionals that say you should not adopt children older than your youngest child, which is what I had been thinking, a child younger than Z.  Some people just say they should be younger than your oldest child.  

I am hoping to discuss this with my home study social worker on Monday.  I know some people get nervousness about the process of doing a home study, but having adopted the boys I have been through this intrusive processes before and get it.

One of the things they always ask you is why are you adopting?  A number of people come by adoption because of infertility issues, but that's not me so I do not have to worry about the really prying questions.  Unlike China and Columbia, many of the people adopting from Haiti are like me, simply wanting to add to their families by helping a child and/or single parents.

Adoption has always been a part of my life.  I guess for a long time I just thought that was the way lots of people chose to make families.  I have 5 cousins, and of those cousins, only one is biological. 

When my two older cousins were adopted, they used to try to match the appearance of the child and parent.  With my cousin Dan, they did a pretty good job.  He looks Irish and very similar to my brothers, my cousin Sue though was not as good of a match.  I wish tall, skinny, and blonde were in my genetic make-up. I look at N and although he clearly is not an attempt to match the appearance of a child and parent, he is in someways so like my grandma Hayes and Z can be so much like my dad.  Maybe we start to see our relatives in our children when they are adopted, but I also think God's in control of everything so I bet there is still some matching of a different kind going on with my boys.

  (Jeff and the Boys during our recent trip.) 

On the trip where Z held the baby, we also visited my two younger cousins from the other side of my family,  Jeff in Philly and Bob in DC.  I remember when my Aunt adopted Jeff,  it was in January and I was in 4th grade.  My mom, teaching in the same school, passed a note to my teacher to give me.  It read, "Mary (my aunt) got a baby."  Being almost 10 years older than my cousin Jeff, we created an instant bond.  The same as when his brother came along 3 years later.  Adoption is more normal than birth in my family.  

It was neat to watch the whole thing come full circle as I watched the boys with my cousins on this trip.  Jeff is amazing with them calm, yet firm and not intimidated at all.  Bob is the cousin who will feed them 2-3 bags of cookies before his wife gives him the look like are you crazy.  I have tried to be open about adoption and to help the boys to see adoption as a good thing as I hope it has been with my cousins. 

I came to adoption in a much different way than my Aunts and Uncles.  I had always dreamed of meeting the man of my dreams, settling down and having a family, but Mr. Right never seemed to show up only Mr. Not Really Interested in Girls, Mr. What was I thinking, and Mr. Not Right.  This is what led me to  eventually adopt the boys.  

In my mind I had two thoughts: maybe God had not sent me a husband because he thought I would not be a good parent or maybe carrying my "Full Figure Midget Model" (as my sister-in-law has referred to it) body on was not the nicest thing to do to a kid.  I also feared that as I was getting closer to 40, if I had my own child, my baby might come out with two heads!  This is what led me to consider adoption and specifically foster to adopt.  My theory being that if I really stunk as a parent, it was kind of like rent-to-own and a better family could be found for the child.  

Now six years later, I have two amazing boys and am looking to add a daughter.  Unlike foster care and the fear of giving a child back (which yes, I have had to do,) I am so excited to begin this journey and know that when I see her face for the first time, she will be mine.  It is a feeling that probably most mom's take for granted, but I am so looking forward to.    

Please pray for my family and daughter as we begin our homestudy this week.  

----------

If you wish to help with the exorbitant  cost of adoption, please consider shopping or donating.  

I have a store front at Just Love Coffee Roasters where people can buy coffee.

https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/finnerty/ 

I am currently raising money and selling items through One Mission Fundraising.  This is both a basic donation site as well as a site that sells gifts for fundraising.  So people can choose to shop or just donate.  

https://onemissionfundraising.com/fundraisers/finnerty-family-adoption-fund/

Anyone who just wants to make a donation by writing a check, and not have a portion of it go to fees for the One Mission Site, can make one to my agency on my behave.  Because they are a non-profit, the donations can be written off on your taxes.  If you are interested, checks, that have a post it note attached with my name on it or a note accompanying the check with my name, can be made out to and sent to:

EAC Inc.

Attention Tina Fell 

12608 Alameda Drive

Strongsville, OH 44149

I am also taking donations for a garage sale in October, looking for people to start saving their gas and electric bills so I can save them some money while making some for the adoption, and open to any other ways people think they can help. 

Thank you for any help you can give!!!

Camouflaged and Questioning

N is standing stark naked in front of my 50's style dinning room chair with horizontal slats.  In all seriousness he says, "Look mom, I am camouflaged!"  This is mid-March and clearly camouflaged is the word of the week at daycare.  He continues through out the week camouflaging himself against my brown curtains, my brown bed sheets, and other brown items around the house.

One night in all seriousness he says,  "Mom, poopy is brown and I am brown.  Do you think that if I fell in the toilet I would get camouflaged and could get flushed down the toilet?"

Trying not to laugh I said, "No honey, I would never let you get flushed down the potty; you would get stuck in the drain just like the tennis ball you threw in the toilet and I would call Mr. A the plumber to get you out."  This led to a long discussion about how N wished someone in the family was brown like him.  It shocked me that he did not consider Z brown, he felt Z was the same color as my close Italian friend "tan" even though Z is his biological half brother.

I tried to point out African American friends we have, but was told they did not live with us.  As a mom wanting to try and make my child feel like he wasn't different and loving him more than words can express,  I even tried to point out the fact that Meemaw and Poppy's dog was brown and black but with no luck!  This conversation solidified the fact that when I chose to adopt, the little girl would have to be "brown" like N.

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Since my first post, I have gotten lots of positive responses and a few questions so I thought I would try to answer some them in this post and more in another:

Why Haiti?

 I was drawn to Haiti for a bunch of reasons.  My first choice would have been Rwanda as I have taught about the genocide that occurred there for many years and raised money for schools there, but Rwanda is closed off to adoptions right now.  Many countries sign The Hague Agreement and then find that they cannot meet the requirements of it within their systems.  I know this also happened with Guatemala.

That left me other countries in Africa and Haiti.  A few of the popular countries in Africa do not allow singles to adopt, the Democratic Republic of Congo suddenly shut down adoptions in the middle of the process for people, and a few of the countries have been cited for child selling which is clearly not why I am doing this.

This drew me towards Haiti.  I taught a student a few years back that was adopted from Haiti.  My second cousin had served there after the earthquake, my students had done a candy bar sale for a Haitian school after the earthquake, and also Haiti is a very impoverished country were children are in need of adoption.

Haiti does have it's own set of issues such as a long wait times between matching visits and the actual adoption, but it also allows you to visit the child during this time (although I was pretty sure I could not afford this, flying from Florida is not very expensive and the hotel chain my cousin works for has just opened a hotel in Port Au Prince which means my mom and Aunt could visit my daughter).

After your match visit, you can often Skype, and you can send letters and gifts too.  I liked the fact that the children were placed in Christian Crèches (orphanages) which were much more family like than institutional orphanages.  As well, any child that is to be adopted's birth parents must be found and testify that they cannot raise the child or if the parents cannot be found, the mayor of the town must testify that every attempt was made to find the parents and that the child has been abandoned.

Finally, "Haiti’s population was about 9.8 million according to UN 2008 estimates.  According to Hope for Haiti, over 50% of Haiti’s population is school age and the literacy rate is less than 50%.  Approximately 70% of the people live in poverty, with an average annual income of $400 per year. 15% of all children in Haiti are orphaned or abandoned (“practically orphaned”).  Most estimates put the number of orphans in Haiti prior to the January 2010 earthquake at about 380,000.  Experts now estimate that the number of orphans has doubled to about 750,000 since the earthquake" (http://haitiorphanproject.org/about/).The orphanages are overflowing with children. Once, they reach the age of an adult they are just put on the street, because there is no room for them. They are left to fend for themselves.  As well, over 35% of the children in Haiti are malnourished which can lead to long term physical and mental complications.  This is a country in need and I know there is a little girl there that needs us.

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What are you doing to fundraise?

I am doing lots of things.  I had a party where my friend donated her almost 700 dollar commission to me.  I sold end of the year t-shirts at school and had a garage sale in July.

A few things that I am currently doing are through Party-lite, Beach Body, and Just Love Coffee. My friend is having a Party-lite party and although I cannot attend, she is doing a 50/50 where squares can be bought 1 for 5, 3 for 10, and  6 for 20.  Half of the money goes to my fund, and the winner gets their half toward a Party-lite candle purchase whether they live in the Buffalo Area or not.  Another lady who adopted from Haiti has offered her commissions on her Beach Body sales to me through my Facebook page.  As well, I have a store front at Just Love Coffee Roasters where people can buy coffee and who doesn't need coffee-https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/finnerty/   If you are interested in Party-lite or Beach Body, let me know.

In the near future, I will be selling really cool adoption t-shirts I designed hopefully through an etsy store.  As well as, selling infinity chevron scarfs with screen printed words on them that another friend of mine who is adopting from Haiti is making for me to sell.

I will also be having another garage sale with my friends hopefully one in September and definitely one next summer and I welcome donations. (This will likely be a yearly event until my little girl comes home.)  If you were going to throw it away or donate it, I would love it.

Another friend has offered to do a raffle where people win gift certificates for for Lia Sophia Jewlery and I sell tickets at 10.00.  Hopefully people will want to pick up a cool scarf, T-shirt, try a raffle for high value gift certificates for Lia Sophia or get some Party-lite candles for a Christmas or Birthday presents.

I am hoping to have a "Break the Winter Blues" event with Karaoke, comedy, and a DJ along with a basket raffle in the far future.  I also would like to sell some items made in Haiti and possibly do a photo shoot for families, have a 5k run, and do some other ideas I read about in a book about adopting without debt.

The biggest thing I am currently doing is raising money and selling items through One Mission Fundraising.  This is both a basic donation site as well as a site that sells gifts for fundraising.  So people can choose to shop or just donate.

https://onemissionfundraising.com/fundraisers/finnerty-family-adoption-fund/

Finally, anyone who just wants to make a donation by writing a check, and not have a portion of it go to fees for the One Mission Site, can make one to my agency on my behave.  Because they are a non-profit, the donations can be written off on taxes.  If you are interested, checks, that have a post it note attached with my name on it or a note accompanying the check with my name, can be made out to and sent to:
EAC Inc.
Attention: Tina Fell
12608 Alameda Drive
Strongsville, OH 44149

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What are you doing personally to raise/save money?

I am couponing, have cut back our cable, am hoping to tutor as much as possible this year, am asking more friends to babysit for free when I need a sitter or offering to babysit for my friends kids to make some extra cash, and am trying to do mostly free things with the kids like the beach, playground, and staying with friends to feel like we have gone on a vacation. I am beginning the process of opening an Etsy shop which will sell the  adoption T-shirts as well as adoption themed items, and a few other things I can create such as infinity scarfs, wreaths, and paintings.

The one thing I am trying not to do is make the boys feel like they are living a very different life, but I am still trying to keep them excited about making good purchasing choices to help adopt their sister.

I have sold items on Craig's list, sold the boys' old clothes and my own to consignment stores, and am trying to get anything new we need at the used stores.  Also, my agency offers a financial coach.  I am going to be taking her class soon and learning some other ideas.  I hope to apply for grants although those can be limited, but my agency is doing everything possible to help me qualify for them.

I am also hoping to sell electric and gas through a wholesale company.  This not only saves people money, but makes me money.  Since NYS deregulated utilities, companies can offer to sell you gas/electricity at a reduced cost.  You still receive your bill through NYSEG, NiMo, National Fuel. .  . and they service your lines, but the actual gas/electricity is wholesale.  You do not have to be just in NYS, so if you think you might be interested, drop me a line.  The great thing is I make a few bucks,  and they guarantee you save at least 2% a year over what you would be paying, but many people are seeing up to 5-6% savings.  If you figure 200.00 a month for both gas and electric combined which is low, that is 2400.00 a year a person pays and even at 2% savings that's 48.00 at 6% you could be saving up to 150.00, and helping me to adopt.

Finally I am hoping that if the adoption tax credit stays in place for the year I finally get to adopt, I will be able to take out a low interest loan to pay off the adoption and then repay the loan with my tax rebate.

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I will leave you with a few words that could apply to any Christian but are written for Catholics and have inspired me on this journey and I continue to ask you to pray for my family.  (Please feel free to share my blog with others via Facebook or email if you think it would be inspiring or of interest to them.)

Godone-Maresca said, adding that "adoption is a ministry in which every Catholic should participate, whether by adopting, by helping others adopt, by praying and by making the plight of those kids known.”

“As Catholics, we cannot remain unmoved by the plight of thousands and even millions of children dying from preventable and even curable diseases in many places of the world,” Godone-Maresca said. “We cannot remain unmoved by the plight of children feeling unwanted and asking for a family of their own. We cannot remain unmoved by the knowledge that if not adopted by a certain age, in many --- countries, orphan children with any kind of special needs are thrown into mental institutions, where life is no more than a slow death.”


(Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/unicef-blamed-for-decline-in-international-adoptions?fb_action_ids=10202239507001405&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%5B469882676421405%5D&action_type_map=%5B%22og.likes%22%5D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D#ixzz32DaiITUz)

Praying whether I am part of the solution

Please be patient as this is my first blog and I am learning. . .

I remember when I started my foster to adopt journey taking classes where they would ask, "It's the first day of being a foster parent, the child arrives at your door, what does your child look like?" You don't want to give them the real answer you're picturing in your head because you want to be happy with any child they would give you, but mine was a little African-American girl.  Every single time I pictured-a little African-American girl.

Fast-forward two years, and I'm madly in love with a little African-American boy.  I have purchased a home and life seems to be falling into place. Mr. Right may have never come along, but I was content with my little family.  But my world was soon to be turned upside down.

One day, I received a call from N's worker that his birth mother was pregnant again.  This did not go along with my plans, but they were God's plans.  I never planned on having two kids in daycare at once, so close together, and wasn't even sure when I would have more kids if ever.  But I thought maybe this would be the little girl that I imagined, the little African-American girl from my classes.

When the baby was born, I had to make the decision to send N to live with another family so he could be with his sibling or take the new baby.  It was a no-brainer, whether it had been my plans or not, but this wasn't the little girl I dreamed of. It was a boy and to be honest he wasn't even really African-American.

It was a hard beginning, but I began to fall in love with Z.  He is an amazing little boy who looks at an ant as if it's a legal document he's analyzing before signing; he gives me presents over and over because he loves to give presents like I do; and he can give any adult a run for their money when working on a puzzle.

The boys' birth mom continued to have babies, but I knew my limits at the time of the next birth: two small children under the age of 3 was enough for one to handle.  Since I had adopted the boys in October 2012, I was able to say I could not take their sibling when he was born.  I remember that cold November day crying in the Tops' parking lot, but knowing it was the right thing to do for my family.

During N and Z's young life I had I had been asked to do respite care for two teenagers from my school while their soon to be adoptive parents went to visit their adult son.  These girls were amazing, and I enjoyed the different kind of parenting it took for a teenager: helping them with homework, helping them make crafts for events at school, and going to their sporting events.

These girls inspired me to consider adopting another child, but this time an older girl who was a teenager.  As soon as the customary six months had gone by since my adoption, I asked to foster a teenage girl.  I was very specific in my request and soon received a call for a teenager.  I committed to this teenager, but the year was rough to say the least.  I lost faith in the system, in how they treated me, in how they treated my family, and in how they treated this child.  I quickly became exhausted with the system, and the stress it was putting on my family.

I still though longed to adopt a girl.  There's just a different relationship between a mother and her daughter. I am blessed with an awesome mother and wanted to share that same experience with a little girl.

Again the boys' birth mom had a baby but again it was a boy, and he went to live with his other sibling.  I secretly knew even if it was a girl, I just couldn't handle the system anymore.  I had been put through the wringer.

Meanwhile, my friends had been working very hard to adopt a child after countless years of issues with fertility.  They began extensive fundraisers to raise money for their adoption and in less than a year, we're blessed with enough money to adopt a child and were chosen by a birth family to raise their little girl.

Adoptive families had become part of my life during this time.  I had many friends from the foster care system that adopted children and had join countless groups that worked with orphans.  As I began to learn the plight of orphans around the world, I began to question myself could I be a mother to another child, but I knew it could not be through foster care.

I prayed about it for a very long time and then one day I saw a statistic:  if 7% of the worlds' Christians provided for orphans there would virtually be no orphans.  This haunted me for many months.  I knew for some reason I had seen that statistic and began to pray again about expanding my family.

During the same time, I often read about adoption from international countries and particularly the children of Haiti.  I prayed and prayed, but feared I would never be able to afford the cost of an international adoption.   I learned about grants that were available for international adoption, and I learned about how children in Haiti in particular are often left to die for medical and physical conditions that in America could be easily fixed.

As I watched the success of my friends through their adoption fundraisers and the adoption of their little girl, I longed for the same experience to be able to help a child for her entire life.  I began to research adoption agencies and had discovered a website called Rainbow kids.  The site showed countless pictures of children throughout the world who had not be adopted after being abandoned by their families for financial reasons, medical reasons, and reasons we can never understand in our country.

The question was whether I could really do this, but I prayed and truly believed it was God's calling in my life.  I prayed and prayed and soon found a non-profit adoption agency that seemed to match my needs. This doesn't guarantee that I will end up with that little girl I pictured so many years ago; it just means I have begun a journey. The rest is up to God.

The week I received a confirmation that I had been chosen to adopt a child from Haiti, I was ecstatic and posted it on Facebook to share with my friends.  There were almost 100 likes to my post and 30 some positive comments, yet there are always the naysayers.  And maybe I am too sensitive, but the naysayers are the voices I hear in my head late at night, when my boys are not behaving, and when I get an idea for another fundraiser.

Two people questioned my decision, one because he questioned the idea of international adoption and the high cost of international adoption. The other one questioned me for reasons, I may never know but it hurt.  If you announce you're pregnant nobody says are you sure about this, but somehow people feel they can with adoption.

I agree with the naysayers about the cost of international adoption, it seems like children are being sold.  But this is not really the case, many things surrounding international adoption are expensive and controlled by the Hague agreement-a set of laws to control the international adoption system.

But most countries that these children come from are not like ours.  There are no foster care systems to protect these orphans; there are no social services to provide their parents the necessary money to provide them the medical care they need; and there are not even hospitals that offer the medical care that they need if there were money. The poverty in Haiti is extensive and has created an abundance of orphans.  Much of the money surrounding international adoption goes to pay for services to provide for children who have not yet been adopted and also goes to provide for visas, passports, medical clearances, and legal fees. Our country provides for children like this so that they can quickly be adopted, and people who choose to adopt them do not have to deal with extensive upfront costs.  (But with our system comes problems, problems that I knew from my experience I could no longer handle.).

My journey is all in God's hands.  I truly believe if I'm supposed to get a daughter, God will place her in my life, but I also know that I need to do my part to work to get this child. It could take me years to get the upfront money to adopt a child from Haiti, but as I worked on saving this child would be suffering, I would be getting older, and the distance between my children would become greater.  So using every cent I have and fundraising are my only options to speed this process along.

People don't think twice about asking you to give to their child's hockey team, to donate for their walk for some illness, to buy an item for their child's field trip, or to buy a raffle ticket for their church.  So why is adoption different.   Adoption is making the difference in the life of a child; it's giving a child a home that he/she otherwise might not have.  Your friends' child is not going to become an NBA basketball star because you bought a ticket to their spaghetti dinner or helping someone's child by buying some candy bars for his/her school trip is not going to make him/her a Rhodes scholar. But contributing to an international adoption helps to save a child's life: to provide for them what every child deserves in life, a family that loves and cares about them.

Maybe I will never be matched with a child or come up with enough money.  If this is God's plan it's his plan and I accept that.  When I can't accept, is a double standard that comes with international adoption fundraisers.  I'm cutting coupons and doing everything I can to hopefully bring home my daughter, but I need more help than just myself. You may not be able to adopt a child yourself, but can you financially help a child; are you part of the 7% of Christians who could make a difference in the life of a child? If you're not that's okay.  I hope that when you consider making a donation to a charity you have always donated to such as the SPCA or Salvation Army you think about the kids of Haiti and if it is God's will my child.  But, I also understand counting pennies and cutting corners as I am doing it to save for this adoption.

If I am never matched with a child or raise enough money; it's okay the money I have raised I will donate to the orphan cause in someway or another as well as some of my own money, and the rest of my money can go back into savings for some other time when someone asks me to donate to their cause, and hopefully I can help them.   I have never been one to say no when people ask me to help their cause.

I could've taken the money I've already spent towards my Haitian adoption and used that to conceive my own daughter, but how does that help anyone. I want to help a child.  I want to give them what they otherwise would not have. I don't just want a daughter.

So if I ask you to donate to my cause feel free to say no; it's okay it's your choice.  I hope that when you buy a present for someone at Walmart you remember it goes to some CEO: buying a gift for someone from my cause goes to help a child. Donate to my cause, and you know you're making a difference.  Donate to some charities and it may just be going to the pockets of some bigwigs or it may really be making a difference.

But most importantly I ask that you pray that God's will be done whatever that may be . . .